Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Top 16 Things Husbands Can Do To BUILD Their Marriage

Written by Eric Engle

  1. Set boundaries that protect the marriage and family: (Physical, Emotional, & Spiritual) If you desire ‘The Marriage God Intended” you must be vigilant and constantly defining what influences you let into your marriage and family. I have seen many marriages weakened by putting up with seemingly well wishing Parents, Friends, and Coworkers who think that they have some place of influence in your family or marriage.
  1. Work hard: (Sacrifice… do whatever it takes to provide for your family) I have seen men who cater to their own desires as an excuse for not doing whatever they need to provide for their families. God says that they are worst than an unbeliever!
  1. Encourage her: (Encourage her with your words on a regular basis. The enemy is hard at work telling her that she is a failure.) Find out where she needs encouragement and spread it thick on a regular basis.
  1. Tell her she is beautiful: (God doesn’t make junk. By the way… look in the mirror; you’re not getting any younger yourself.) Every woman wants to be beautiful. The more beautiful she thinks she is to you the more confident she will be to fulfill her role as your helper and your lover. See # 3.
  1. Take the lead. (This is a God given responsibility and obligation, not a suggestion.) God has appointed you as the “Head of Your Household” and “Head of Your Wife” In our satanically feminized society it is cute for men to say “I’ll have to talk to the Boss”. I have one thing to say about that. Stop being weak minded and disobedient to God. For those the rest of you, make sure that you LEAD as Christ lead rather than acting as a ruler.
  1. Go to battle for her: (This is where you enforce the boundaries that you have set.) In the event of an attack on your wife, DEFEND HER and be ready to go to battle for her no matter how uncomfortable it may make you feel. Obviously this is a no brainer in the event of physical attack, but I’m referring to an emotional or spiritual attack. I have seen many marriages where the wife is attacked blatantly or many times subversively by the husband’s family and… even her own family and the husband stands silent. Any time, and I mean ANY TIME the husband does not defend her in such a situation; he has created a serious crack in their relationship. Because she has adopted the world’s attitude, she may say that she can fight her own battles, and it’s ok…she lying and she may not even know it. It is your responsibility to defend her PERIOD! See # 1.
  1. Protect her: (The Bible refers to her as the weaker vessel. Stop Hiding under the covers. Although she may seem tough, it is your responsibility to protect her and the family, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.) In the event that you need to go to battle for her, you now need to apply the thoughts of # 1. Your marriage needs to be a strong fortress that is protected, never let your guard down.
  1. Take her to bed and fulfill HER needs: (You are there for her as much as she is there for you. Don’t make the assumption that just because you are having sex with her, means that she is having sex with you.) Many women feel little more than a play thing in the bedroom. If you truly seek to know her and be one with her you will do your best to serve her needs before your own. If you have any disagreement in your marriage, it should be the disagreement of trying to serve each others needs.
  1. Cherish her: (Like a special flower you hold in your hand. You hold the key as to whether she will bloom or wilt.) This is the key to her respecting you and allowing you to lead.
  1. Search her heart: (Ask her questions to know her deeply. On a regular basis, ask her to rate your marriage on a scale of 1-10, and what you can do to raise the score) This question alone can help you make great strides to “becoming one” with her. It also gives her permission to share with you without reproach.
  1. Listen to her: (Ask her about her day, her wins and defeats, how the kids treated her.)
  1. Make sure the children respect her: (This not only sets the right order in the marriage, but also helps establish oneness between you and your wife.) Protect your marriage from even the kids.
  1. Tell her you love her: (Husbands, you can never say this too much.)
  1. Have a spiritual vision for your family: (What is the purpose for your faith as it relates to the family? It needs to be more than just making it to Heaven. That is where you should begin, not finish.)
  1. Check priorities regularly and make sure they are in the right order: (1-God, 2-Wife, 3-Family, 4-Outside ministries, 5-Work, 6-Self)
  1. Leave and cleave: (Do not let any outside influences; especially in-laws or parents come between you and your wife, or children. Well meaning parents, friends, or relatives can undermine your marriage if you are not vigilant and alert to these attacks, masked as loving advice) See #1

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