Why God Has Not Called Me to Get a Job (Part 3)

Should you get a job in this declining economy?  That's the question of the day to the married woman with children.  

I am going to dive right into the biblical verses to help you with your decision.  If you have not read Part 1 and Part 2 of Why God Has Not Called Me to Get a Job, please take the time to read them so you'll know where I’m coming from.

For many days now I have prayed for the Lord to guide me as I write this post because I know some women may be angry and perhaps even a bit offended by what I write, however, that is not my intention.   I am sure there are many of God’s beautiful and wonderful daughters out there working real hard to help provide for their family due to the economy.  There may even be some sisters reading this that may be going on one job interview after another, and others still wondering if they are doing the right thing by not getting a job.  Let me reassure you that I truly do understand your anxieties, fear and pain.

If you haven't been following my story, just this week we moved out of our home that was foreclosed up and the dress you see in this picture is my beautiful wedding dress that was hung to sell at our yard sale a few weekends ago.  Two things I held dearly in my heart are now gone, yet, I have still not gotten a job and below I will explain the Biblical reasons why not.

With sadness in my heart these things are no longer mine. 

First, let me begin by telling you that I am not worthy to type His words, His love, His admonition, His charge, nor His exhortation to you.  Who am I but just another one of His daughters?  Yet, He has called me to write this, a letter that may convict some. “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.”  Hebrews 4:12   

But before I go any further, let me first state that whether we work outside of the home or stay at home, we are all on the same team.  Team Jesus.  Jesus said, "For he who is not against us is on our side.  Mark 9:40

Note:  For the woman who is angry when she reads this: please know that the Word of God does NOT condemn, but rather it convicts the heart as the Holy Spirit moves throughout your soul.  (Satan is the one who condemns.  Jesus NEVER does.)  “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.”  Romans 8:1

I want to make sure this counsel and encouragement is very clear.  I am writing to the married woman who is still raising children.

This post is NOT written to:

·       Single women

·       Single mothers

·       Widows

·       Married women with adult children

Let’s dig into God’s Word to help direct us for our role as a mother.  We’re going to start at the beginning of the Bible in the book of Genesis, chapter 3, verse 16:

·       To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you."

“In pain you shall bring forth children” is the portion of Scripture that I’d like to discuss right now.  Notice that the verse does not say, ‘babies’?  Generally speaking, when we think of this verse, we just associate it with labor pains as we are about to give birth to a ‘baby’, yet the verse clearly states, 'children', which is obviously older than a baby.  The verse is not referring to labor pains only.  Here's something else for you to ponder...And why would you have sorrow with 'conception'? (unless of course you weren't looking to 'raise' another child!)

Now comes the word ‘sorrow’.  Let me ask you a question.  If you gave birth to a living, breathing baby, did you equate that day as a day of sorrow?  I think not!  The ‘sorrow’ did not come until we started raising the child, (bringing forth, if you will.)  

'In pain and sorrow' is part of the curse for the woman, because we are bringing up ‘children’.  Motherhood is hard work.  We are shaping a child and dealing with their behaviors and attitudes; it's an ongoing process.  If any of you have children, you know that when the baby was born you received them with great joy, not sorrow.  (For those of you who have two year olds or teenagers you might have more sorrow than joy right now.) 

Now the verses below deal with our role and responsibility as a wife and a mother:

·       "She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27

·      “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things-- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."  Titus 2:3-5

The Word clearly states that as a married woman with children we are called to be homemakers and we are to watch over our household.  Now, in our society that position is frowned upon because the 'world' does not hold that position in high esteem.  If you are a very intelligent person, perhaps you feel like you'd be wasting your time by being a stay at home mom rather than pursuing a career.  Don't be fooled by Satan's lie if you believe that.  Sorry, but society is not very bright! “I, the Lord, speak truth; I declare what is right.”  Isaiah 45:19

Where does it say in the Titus 2:3-5 verses that a woman should be a homemaker ONLY if her husband makes enough money for her to stay at home?  It's not there ladies!  Don't be deceived.  God's Word is clear.

The Almighty God wrote those verses.  The Great I Am etched out His perfect plan for your role as a wife and mother.  Don't just discard it and think that you need to aspire to be something more.  It is not enough for you to be in the center of His will?  “All His words are true.”  Psalm 119:160  

Since I am a married woman with children that I am still raising, I am going to give you the answer as to why God has not called me to get a job....

"so the Word of God is not blasphemed."  Titus 2:5

Bottom line:  if you are married with children that still need to be raised, it is a part of God's plan for you to be the one to raise them.  I tried to tell you earlier that this post might cause you to be angry...I guess I should've told you to have some chocolate by your side while you were reading it!

Just because the economy has changed that does not mean the Word of God has.

The position a wife and mother holds will receive eternal benefits that a paycheck here on earth can never measure up to.

Don’t be misled.  Even if other Christian, married women with children are getting jobs during this economy that does NOT mean its God’s best for your family! 

I know you may feel as if you're drowning, just let go and surrender to Him!  Loosen your control and He’ll rescue you because He is your Life Preserver.  Your faith will go deeper as a result of this.  His glory will be revealed through you and He will do miracles, because He is the Miracle Maker!

You might not think I don't understand your pain and uncertainty.  But I do! I sit here typing this post from my bedroom, but not just any bedroom because this room is not my home but a home of dear sweet friends of ours.  Although I no longer have a house to call my own, I look to the Heavens where my permanent dwelling place will be.

Yes, I can get a job so I can live in my own home and still keep my possessions but I would be outside of God's will for my life and no amount of money and a false sense of security is worth it for me because I would rather be obedient to my Savior, my King and my God.

Take my life Jesus...my dress, my home, my possessions and let it be yours.  Use them for your glory.  Yes, there are tears in my eyes when I type these words but one day every tear of mine will be in His bottle.  He laid His life down for mine and the least I can do is give up a few worldly possessions to be the woman, wife and mother that He has called me to be.  Scars and pain are part of a greater plan.  The narrow path is certainly not the easiest path, but it is the path that will lift Him up for all to see.

Be in prayer about your decision.

Heed His Word because there will be ramifications if you don't.  (I will address the negative impact that working outside of your home can have on your marriage along with the relationship you have with your children at the end of this series.)

Take a leap of faith. 

Be strong in the Lord.

You won't regret it.

Join me soon (from my little bedroom) for Part 4, where I'll address, if your husband wants you to get a job.  Plus, I will tackle the following verses:

·       She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.  Proverbs 31:16

·       She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants.  Proverbs 31:24

 

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Why God Has Not Called Me to Get a Job (Part 2)

Well, this sure is a popular topic!  I can't believe how many people have read the first part of this post.  I guess in today's economy it's hard not to be concerned about one's financial situation.  Today we'll pick up on Part 2.  If you missed Part 1 of Why God Has Not Called Me to Get a Job, I encourage you to take 5 minutes to read it here so you’ll know where I’m coming from.

Like a father showing his daughter new things she had never seen, the Lord took my hand and revealed His Truth to me. We walked together, Hand in hand.  I am forever grateful that He didn’t send anyone to minister to me.  He wanted me all to Himself, right by His side so I could learn from the Master himself.

His Word does not return void.  Isaiah 55:11

I almost felt like a young girl climbing up on the Lord’s lap as He was reading me a bedtime story, (although at times it felt more like a horror story!) a story on how to live a God-fearing life as a young woman.  

So from Feb. thru June of 1997, I was unemployed going on one interview after another, only to hear the words “You are over qualified and basically, you can do my job”, or they would tell me I was their second choice.

Hmmm, I wonder if not getting those jobs had anything to do with the fact that before each interview I would pray, “Close this door Lord if this is not the job YOU want me to have.”  Of course that's why!  The Lord was protecting me AND pruning me.  He had just the right job in mind for me, plus He was chipping away at my pride.

During those months I had a lot of free time on my hands so….

I dug into God’s Word.  I got myself a study Bible with a commentary included in it so I could understand the Word better.  I used the concordance at the back of the book although I don’t think I really understood the concept of it too well.  In my mind it was kinda like a dictionary of sorts. 

I did, what I call, my own Bible study for women.  I looked up every passage in the Bible that had the word ‘woman’ or ‘female’ in it to find out what the Word of God had to say about it.  I eventually looked up what the Word had to say about a ‘wife’.  (Deep down inside my heart I had a longing to be married to a wonderful, godly man…hmmm, did that even exist?)

Here’s what I learned:

• ·     And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."  Genesis 2:18  A helper?  What?  I’m not a helper, that role is so beneath me.

•  ·       And the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."  Genesis 3:13  Way to go Eve!  Thanks a lot.   

• ·       To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you."  Genesis 3:16  Okay, so kids equate pain and my husband will rule over me??  And why would I want to sign up for this job?   

• ·       “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”  Ephesians 5:22   Ouch!  I need to do what? 

• ·       Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Ephesians 5:24

•  ·       Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  Colossians 3:18

I was finding that the more I read God’s Word, the more I read that a wife was to submit to her husband. Just for the record, I wasn’t too fond of that idea!  I didn’t submit to men.

Well, I thought, I won’t be walking down the aisle anytime soon because I was not about to submit to some idiot that might lead me off the edge of a cliff! 

Then I came across the infamous Proverbs 31 passage.  That was a shocker of a read.  Really, ‘she makes linen garments’?  I didn’t even know how to sew on a button.

•   ·       “The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things-- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”  Titus 2:3-5  Homemaker?  Really Lord?

I had so much to learn and so much pride that needed to be chipped away. 

So I started to connect the Biblical dots as I applied them to my life and this is what I realized:

• If I made the decision to become a Christian wife, then I was ultimately placing my life into my husband’s hands for him to lead me.  Yea, well I’m not okay with that.  

• I had to be obedient to my husband.  That was funny.  I think I chuckled a little bit when I read that verse, but then I think I got a little angry with God on that one.  (No wedding bells in my future… or so I thought.)

• Then I read that I would be the maid!  I didn’t know how to keep a home.  I certainly didn’t know how to cook either and I wasn't about to learn!

• If I had kids, it would be painful.  It would hurt when I birthed them and I was the one who was supposed to raise them. That was a scary thought!

I fully understood what the Scriptures had to say about the role of a wife so I quickly became content in my singleness stating, “I would rather remain single and serve the Lord than settle for just any man.”  “If and when I say, ‘I Do’, my husband needs to be all that and then some.”

And just for the sake of it, I couldn't keep myself from reading what 'the man' had to do.  What was his curse, role and responsibility?  I found the verse below to be very interesting.  The curse for the man was for him to toil the field, not the woman.  Something I pondered, but nothing I really needed to think about since I wasn’t married. 

And to the man he said, "Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it.  Genesis 3:17

All those Scriptures were so much for me to take in.  It was something I needed to learn because based on how society (Satan) pushes a woman to ‘have it all,” you know, the career, the husband, the kids, the house, etc.

I felt that I was raised to be like a man, not a woman.  My desire was to be the woman that God created me to be, not who I created myself to be or who 'the world' says we, as women, should be.

Regardless of how I was raised and what I had pursued for many years, I realized that God was and still is A LOT smarter than I am.  Okay Lord, I will learn to be a Godly woman.  "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.  Psalm 111:10  

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.  Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel--rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.  For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.  Now I am supposed to have a gentle and quiet spirit as well?  Okay now, that is asking just way too much!  And again, with the stinkin' submissive thing!  Really Lord, how come you have to tell us sooo many times?  (There's actually a reason why, but that will have to wait until I write my posts on Marriage.)

During this time of studying God's Word, I get a job.  Not a job I wanted by the way.  It was, in my opinion, a job that was beneath me.  (chip, chip, chip).  If I remember correctly the way it was advertised it was for a secretarial type position.  I'm not getting some man his coffee, I thought.  I had the job announcement and application in my car for well over a month.  I wasn't interested, yet, I had exhausted all my avenues and the Lord closed all the doors.  I didn't really have a choice so I applied.  

I went to the first interview COMPLETELY uninterested giving short, one word answers.  The Human Resources Director said, "I think you are just what we are looking for."  That's nice, I thought with disgust in my heart.  She had me interview with the Vice President that same day.  (He would be the one I would be getting coffee for.)

As I was ushered into his office, I noticed the Bible verse plaque that was displayed on his desk.  It took my breath away.  I was thrilled to be around another believer, another  follower of Christ.  I interviewed with him.  He tells me I am skilled enough to do his job.  I smile, yet, I started to feel somewhat honored that he said such a kind thing to me. We spoke some more.  He tells me he wants to hire me but he wants to change the position to fit my skills.  Wow!  I was floored.

A few days later I show up for my first day of work but just before I head inside, I am sitting in my car thanking the Lord for the job that He has given me.  I cry because I am sooo humbled and honored that the Lord would have chosen me- a sinner, for a job like this.  So, are you wondering what the job was for?

·       It was for a Christian organization.

·       It employed believers.

·       Daily staff devotions were a part of the 'work' day.

·       They did community outreaches where the Gospel message was presented.

·       They fed the homeless.

·       Gave clothes, shoes and school supplies to needy children.

·       The organization had a mission on skid row in Los Angeles.

God chose me.  The sinner, the proud me, to be a part of His work.

Did I say I was humbled and honored?  

With a humble heart, I gladly served my boss his coffee, (even when he told me not to because he would remind me that I  wasn't his secretary.) (smile)  My response to him:  I am a professional servant for Christ. 

I was in the process of being transformed into a Godly woman....which was a good thing because I met my husband 3 months later.  (Well, that's not quite true, I met him when I was 14 years old and he was my volleyball coach; a coach I never wanted to listen/submit to.) God sure does have a sense of humor!

Join me for Part 3, where I am going to break down some Scriptures and help you apply them to your own life.

 

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Why God Has Not Called Me to Get a Job (Part 1)

Over the last four years, my husband and I are asked repeatedly by Christian family and friends as to why I have not gotten a job.  After all, we have lost our home and we’ve been struggling financially for several years now.  I thought it was a great question and I will answer it, but I can’t do so in just one post so I will write several parts to Why God Has Not Called Me to Get a Job. 

Let me take you all the way back to the beginning of my training/upbringing as a young girl.

When I was just seven years old I told my father and mother that when I get married the man is going to take my last name because I am not going to take his.

My parents constantly told me to get excellent grades, get into a good college, and choose a lucrative career path.  So off to college I went, seeking a career in mind.

At age 25, I said, “I am not about to sit home and listen to some man tell me what to do.  I’m certainly not going to have babies and wipe their snotty noses and then later bake some cookies like ‘Susie the Homemaker.’  I am a career woman!” 

Being in the business world was very natural for me.

I had very strong convictions!  At that time in my life I was living with my boyfriend and my career was my life.  Being the manager of a Chamber of Commerce at 25 years of age was who I was.  Business came easy to me.  I was a natural at it.  It was my strength and it became my identity.

Me, the strong-willed, determined, powerful, and focused executive.  My life consisted of board meetings, town hall meetings, grand openings, luncheons, political fundraisers, etc. I lived and breathed business.  In fact, my entire wardrobe was business suits, dresses, and high-heeled shoes.  Except for a few pair of sweatpants, you wouldn’t find any casual clothes in my closet. 

Note:  I broke up with my boyfriend shortly after I made the above statement.  He wanted to marry me and have babies but I wasn’t interested in marriage.  Been there, done that.  (That’s another post.)

So, I now live alone and God gets a hold of my heart.  I become saved but I have no idea how to follow Christ.   The people that I called friends were either business associates or men.   In fact, it was a man that I met on a blind date that eventually led me to the Lord! 

Okay, great.  I am now saved.  My sins were forgiven and I learned that Jesus loved me.  Now what?  Where do I go from here? 

I had so many questions.  What were the Gospels?  Why is it called the book of Romans?  Why am I supposed to read the book of John first?  What was the difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament?  What exactly is a testament and why is it called that anyway? 

Did I say I had a lot of questions?  I did.  I was (and still am) a ‘why’ child.  You know the one.  Why is the sky blue?  Why is the earth round?  Why do we have to do this or that? 

None of it made any sense to me. 

I went from church to church to church seeking to find answers on how to live my life for Christ, yet all that I would hear is that Jesus loved me and my sins were forgiven. 

Is that all there was to know?  In my mind it didn’t add up.  The Bible is a thick book and I thought surely there was more for me to learn.  The messages I would hear every Sunday morning seemed very basic.   I needed to know how to walk, people!

During that time, God did not feel the need to bring Christian women into my life to show my how to follow Him.  The Lord, being fully aware of who He made me to be, knew I would ask those ‘why’ questions.  I guess He felt it was best if I got the answers straight from Him and His Word, that way He knew I wouldn’t argue about it! (smile)

 

So it was just me and my Bible as I searched for answers, and there were a few verses that I processed over and over in my mind.

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”  John 15:4

Remain in Christ….? Hmmm, if I remain in Him, then He’ll remain in me.  Okay.  I want to remain in Christ because I wanted Him to remain in me, but what does that look like, I thought? 

I had no one to ask that question to, except God Himself.  I don’t know what that looks like Lord, but I am going to do the best I can in my limited understanding to remain in You.  Help me to do this Jesus.

Then I came across this verse:

“And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment.”  Mark 12:30

How on earth do I do that?  How do I love the Lord with all my mind?  Lord show me.

My mind was CONSUMED with work.  In fact, I had so many responsibilities that I was literally becoming dizzy and lightheaded, so off to the doctor’s I went. 

The appointment went something like this: 

Doc:    “What do you do for a living?”

Me:      “I manage a Chamber of Commerce.”

Doc:    “Wow, you are really young.  That’s a very demanding job with a lot of responsibilities.” 

Me:      “Yes it is.”

Doc:    “Okay, keep your eyes open while I look at them through the light.  Well, I don’t see any pressure or swelling on your brain.”

Me:   “What?”  (To say that I was shocked when I heard those words would’ve been an understatement.  I just thought I might’ve had an ear infection!)

Doc:    “Get some rest.  Take some time off.  Here’s some drugs so things don’t get worse.”

Those words scared me.  I was now 26 years old.  Too young to have the possibility of a swollen brain due to stress!  For a job?  No way!  I’ll find another one.

I share this news with a so-called, ‘friend of mine’, (at least I thought she was my friend).  She was one of the Directors that sat on the Board for the Chamber of Commerce.  I tell her I am going to look for a new job because of my health.  She acts like she is concerned for me.  (Backstabbing liar!)

She shares the news with the President and Vice President (my bosses) and they decide to fire me because my heart is no longer into my work. 

I was DEVASTATED, HURT, BETRAYED, FURIOUS…and did I mention unemployed!   

Guess who applies for my position?  Yep, you guessed it, backstabbing liar herself!

(Okay, that was just funny!  I know, I know, I am a Christian woman and I shouldn’t say those things but I have forgiven her... really, I have!)

So, let me connect the dots for you.

Did you see how the Lord took care of the problem I was having about keeping my mind on Him when my mind was so consumed with work?  No more job to be consumed with.  Yes, a hard lesson I know!

The Lord knew my heart was to follow Him and remain in Him.  He knew I was too wrapped up in my identity of my position and not in Him.  He knew I needed to eat a piece of humble pie as well.  I needed to be broken of my pride.  By the way, that was THE WORST tasting pie I have ever had, but it was the best one for me.

It hurt, but God answered my prayers.

Life continued on.  I drew closer to the Lord.  I found a strong, Bible teaching church (where I am still attending 15+ years later).   I found a new job that taught me to be a servant (again, very humbling) but something I needed to learn for my future role as a wife and mother.

My life was about to be radically transformed by the power of God. 

Stay tuned for Part 2.

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